Visiting a Divorce Support Group – Coping After Divorce

You have decided to part ways with someone you thought you would spend your life with. You have hired a Los Angeles divorce lawyer, and the preparation of your divorce are under way. What next? Where do you go from here?

Divorces can be emotional, and no matter how bitter your relationship with your spouse may have turned, it always boils down to the simple fact that you need to turn your life around and make new plans for yourself and your loved ones. If there are children involved in your divorce, the decisions can be all the more difficult and painful. For everyone concerned, divorce is difficult to deal with, and it can leave you feeling like an emotional wreck. While your Los Angeles family lawyer can give you legal advice, they are certainly no shoulder to cry on. What you need now is support so that you can bring your faith back in.

Surviving divorce and separation can be difficult and challenging, and emotional devastation is unavoidable. Even if you are relieved of being rid of a bad marriage, you cannot help but feel dejected and hurt. Divorce support groups consist of people just like you – people who have coped with their own emotional traumas after their divorce, and people who are still dealing with the pressures of being divorced.

These support groups are ideal for those who need help adjusting in this new way of life. Whether you are a single mother, or a newly divorced man struggling to make ends meet, someone in a support group may have gone through exactly what you are experiencing, and they are here to help you cope. They can share their own life experiences with you, give you tips on how to handle your new life, children, family situations and finances. More than anything else, they can be there to listen when all you really want to do is vent out.

There are thousands of support groups in Los Angeles, and you can have your Los Angeles divorce lawyers point out a few for you. Often lawyers know about such groups because their ex-clients may be in one. If you cannot find this information from your Los Angeles divorce attorney, you can always turn to the internet, where such information is available easily. You can locate a support group in your area and visit them once. The first time is usually the hardest because opening up your emotional pain in front of strangers is not easy for everyone. Besides, not everyone feels comfortable sharing some of the darkest things and events in their lives with others. However, if you do decide to visit them once, you may end up feeling comfortable because every other person there has gone through what you are experiencing, and they all know how difficult it is. Very soon, you will end up feeling at home with these people, who often become like extended family with each other. At the end of the day, it is all about feeling better about yourself and your circumstances. 

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Divorce Lawyers in Los Angeles – Things to Keep in Mind

Getting a divorce may be one of the most significant decisions of your life. In fact, this is one decision that may affect almost every other aspect of your world – your social life, your mental health, your financial situation and your family life. The decision to get a divorce is one which makes you struggle a lot, and it can be emotionally numbing too. Though the dissolution of a marriage is a legal act, it has far reaching psychological, social and familial consequences. In all of this, the most significant role to play is that of your divorce lawyer. Therefore, if you want to consult with divorce lawyers in Los Angeles, take your time to get to know them and then hire someone to take your case.

Before you go on to hire a lawyer, it is important to have an idea of what kind of lawyer you want to hire. A lot of this would depend on the kind of divorce you want. There are several lawyers who are known to have a reputation for litigious cases. If that is the route you want to opt, the choice of divorce lawyers in Los Angeles would be rather straightforward for you. However, if you want to part on amicable ways, or want to end your marriage on a graceful note, you will have to talk to your lawyer about it and approach your divorce in a completely different manner.

A divorce lawyer is a very prominent professional, who will charge you for a professional service. The fees and charges of lawyers differ from one region to another and therefore, it is important for you to understand the complete billing process before you hire your lawyer so that you can avoid all potential misunderstandings. To avoid financial mishaps, talk to your lawyer in detail and understand all the fees and charges before signing them on.

Understanding the financials before hand is important so that you do not get a financial shocker once you are settled into your case. If you opt for mediation, usually the fees and charges would be much less because the duration of the case would be shorter and the leg work performed by your lawyer and their team would be smaller too. However, if you decide to sue your partner, or disagree on terms of divorce, your lawyer will most likely bill you heavily.

Some other things you should concern yourself with include provision of accurate time records and itemized billing, provision of all important court papers and documentation to be presented in the court, discussion of your legal rights and how they would represent them in the court, maintaining proper channels of communication, and ensuring that the team secures the best and most favorable outcome for you. If an out of court settlement is the most beneficial for you, then that should be the primary focus of your lawyer, and they should strive to ensure that your case settles out of court. 

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Desire a Great Divorce? Here's How

The term 'great divorce' may seem like an oxymoron, but it really is not. While most people believe that divorce is inevitably ugly, others view this as an opportunity to sort out differences and part ways gracefully. Splitting up may often be a painful experience, leaving behind a feeling of genuine loss. However, it is also a new beginning to your life and may lead to some wonderful opportunities as well. Perhaps, you were not meant to be married anymore, or maybe you and your partner were just not right for each other. This does not mean that you cannot find happiness anymore. Here are some ways in which you can come out of your divorce relatively unscathed.

Avoid being friends too soon – being friends with an ex is a tall order. It seldom ever works, unless you genuinely do not hold any grudges against each other. It is important to give each other a safe distance and set new rules and boundaries to move into this new territory with as less baggage as possible. Your relationship will never be the same, and therefore, it is best to give it some time and then see if a new kind of partnership may flourish between you two.

Let your lawyers prepare for the worst – if you have found a great divorce lawyer in Los Angeles, there is no need for you to prepare for the worst. Let them do it for you. If you do not have any huge issues between the two of you, there is no reason why you and your ex cannot work things out amicably. A mediator can help you with that. Even your Los Angeles divorce lawyer can help you with that to a large extent.

Agree to disagree – no matter how carefully you plan this, or how meticulously you approach your divorce, things may get messy. Even after your divorce, with your parenting plans and your financial decisions, failures are inevitable. Life after a divorce can be like a minefield, but you can tread carefully and minimize damage by avoiding blame games. If you are planning to make some of the vital decisions together – especially regarding children, you have to learn to work together and approach all issues gracefully. When you do disagree, make sure you do it in a way that is easy on each other and your children too.

Don't repeat old patterns – apart from the fact that your marriage is now over, nothing much has changed. You are still you, and your partner is, well, still your ex. There will be friction and there will be problems. You are no longer responsible for your partner's life, and it should not matter to you if they are unhappy, angry, upset, insecure or uncomfortable. If they have a problem, let them sort it out and do not get involved. Resisting the old patterns would certainly give you headway and room to grow individually. Just know that neither of you are responsible for the other's life and their mistakes or their consequences anymore. 

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Los Angeles Divorce Lawyers – When Marriage Counseling No Longer Works

Marriage counseling is often a last resort for couples who know that their marriage is becoming more difficult. They may not yet be ready to give up on their marriage completely, and therefore, they scramble for every last bit of help to keep it intact. However, most marriages, that come to the soor of a marriage counselor, have already crumbled beyond a point of repair. When ego and misunderstanding creeps into a marriage, even the most well meaning advice of the counselor may not help.

It is an evidence backed fact, that with the help of marriage counseling, couples are able to understand their marital difficulties and even communicate better with each other. Couples may eventually end up improving their relationship, or they may not. For sustaining a strained marriage, couples have to keep working at it. Sometimes though, it is difficult to sustain the marriage like this. Though the marriage counselor helps them negotiate their differences and tries to take the edge off the conflicts between them, it is not always possible to do so.

It is true that each partner experiences their marriage differently. Some are more involved in their relationship and their family, while others remain distant. As your Los Angeles divorce lawyer will probably explain to you, these are deep rooted psychological behaviors that cannot be changed overnight. If you feel that your partner is regressed into themselves, or is not emotionally available to you, this may be because they have been conditioned to be so by an emotionally unavailable parent.

Therefore, if you cannot make this marriage work alone, you may perhaps think of parting ways for good. Good Los Angeles divorce lawyers will always help you circumvent all the unpleasantness so that you can divide your assets amicably and spend as less time in the court as possible. If you do part your ways amicably, it allows you to remain civil to each other after the divorce, and is also easier on the other family members – especially the children, if any.

Couples are often not able to talk about their problems. However, with your Los Angeles divorce attorney, you should be open and thorough. If you leave anything out, the lapse may come back to haunt you at some time. Sometimes, compromises sound nice on paper, but when you have compromised for a long time, you may just want to give up and try to have a normal life, where your needs are met as well. In such cases, divorce remains the only viable option out.

Divorce is also the better option when the two of you can't seem to put it together anymore. Instead of fighting all the time in front of your children, and traumatizing them, it is better to call it quits and move away with some grace. This way, even your children wont have to see the ugly side of their parents' marriage. If you do insist on working on your marriage, but can't even be in the same room without being unpleasant to each other, it is better that you seek a divorce and end all the unpleasantness once and for all. 

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Understanding Contested Vs. Uncontested Divorces through Your Los Angeles Family Lawyer

Reaching a point in your marriage, where it seems that divorce is the only way out, can be a real challenge in itself. If you have to choose whether you want to have a contested or uncontested divorce, on top of it, it can be even more traumatizing. So before you can begin taking a call on what is right for you, you should first understand the differences between the two and how it will affect you in the long run.

Either spouse may be able to initiate the proceedings of a divorce. In this case, the other partner will be a respondent. However, if the couple decided to file a joint petition, there would be no respondent and all orders would be made only on the mutual consent of the couples. A joint divorce is often confused with an uncontested divorce, even though both are very different from each other.

Your Los Angeles family lawyer will most likely advise you to file for an uncontested divorce, which is much less messy and faster as well. This is a type of divorce where the spouses agree on all the issues of the divorce. In this kind of a divorce, the couple does not even have to appear in the court. There is no specific way of filing an uncontested divorce. If one of the spouses sends a divorce notice to the other, and the other does not respond by filing an answer to it, the divorce is automatically considered uncontested.

For the divorce to be rendered uncontested, the spouses may have to talk to each other and amicably reach a way for the dissolution of their marriage. They will also have to agree on a lot of key issues, including custody of the children, alimony and maintenance, division of property and the rest of the assets as well as other facets of the divorce.

Often, when either or both of the spouses are litigious, or unable to agree on the terms of the divorce, the case would go to the court. Such contested divorces, where either or both of the parties refuse to come to terms with any of the settlements, may continue for several years. This is why, Los Angeles family lawyers almost always advise against such divorces.

Case management in such divorces is also very difficult because the litigating couples seldom see eye to eye in any of the cases. In such cases, it becomes the responsibility of the lawyers to put an end to the warring and make the spouses see reason. It is surprising how many couples would actually respect the word and wisdom of their lawyers, when it comes to fighting a divorce case. It is also important to therefore, hire a lawyer who would be more concerned about your legal welfare than the hours they can bill you. If either of the spouses have a lawyer who is on an ego trip, and gives bad advise to their client, the case would definitely become contested, and will be difficult to deal with. 

Being a Beneficiary in a Divorce, Not a Victim

Any relationship that ends, hurts us immensely. Relationships are important to us, because they help us get security and support from another person who has come to be important to us. Breakups hurt, often even when the relationship was giving nothing but pain. Marriages ending in divorce hurt even more, because as your Los Angeles divorce attorney will most likely explain to you, a divorce comes with a finality.

All romantic relationships begin on a high note of happiness, love, and hopefulness. We are always optimistic when we are in love. However, as reality sinks in, weak love may simply fizzle out, leaving you high and dry. In marriages, where couples have to be more intimately involved with each other – becoming true partners, disappointment id often inevitable. A lot of marriages are weak from the start because they are based on lust or the temporary euphoria of being in love, instead of trust, understanding and a real sense of partnership.

In such cases, the burden of responsibilities, families and everyday routines can be crippling. The marriage naturally begins falling apart, to the point where the husband and the wife are miserable with each other. All they want, at this point, is to be away from each other. That is when they finally decide to part ways – whether they do it amicably or not, depends a lot on them and the lawyers advising them.

Being strong through the process of your divorce, will help you come out on the top. Understand how the prolonging of the relationship would have damaged you – financially, emotionally and maybe even physically. Understanding this may perhaps help you move past the pain and hurt associated with your divorce. Hiring a good Los Angeles divorce attorney can help you deal with certain intricate situations very delicately. By circumventing the unpleasantness, that can be a part of the entire divorce process, these Los Angeles divorce attorneys can help you maintain your respect and help you enter this new phase of divorced life gracefully.

Though when you look back, you can see your life in complete ruins, the prospect of having a lonely life, with the stigma of a divorce attached to you, difficult. A lot of men and women are unable to accept the prospect of a divorce simply because they do not want to be alone for the rest of their lives. They are more inclined to keep hurting and damaging themselves because they do not want to deal with the pain and grief of a divorce. This way, they often end up getting more damaged in the process.

When you find yourself in a marriage, where you can see no future, but one that has a lot of pain and hurt, it is better to call a Los Angeles divorce attorney and get on with the proceedings. It is like ripping a bandaid off. Once you are done, you will no longer be a victim, but a survivor. If you learn from what you have put behind you, you may also be a beneficiary. 

Why Do People Divorce – As Told By a Los Angeles Family Lawyer

Though divorce is very personal, it has become all too common in the United States. So much so that researches have predicted that about 50% of all first marriages and 60% of second marriages will end in divorce. There are some factors that put people at a much higher risk of ending their marriages in a divorce. Here are some of them.

1. Getting married at an early age – according to Los Angeles family lawyers, one of the biggest reasons why couples end up getting divorced is because they are too hasty in getting married in the first place. When people first fall in love, all looks great and promising. However, as the initial honeymoon period gets over and reality sinks in, younger couples are simply not mature enough to handle the responsibility and commitment that come along with a marriage. They may have lived with each other before their marriage, which often leads them to believe that getting married would be a great idea, but their expectations from each other change when they are married. This is something that most young people fail to foresee.

2. Premarital pregnancy – in a perfect world, the arrival of a baby is celebrated and brings the parents closer together. However, when a marriage is already weak, the arrival of a baby only strains it further. This may happen to a point where the marriage teeters dangerously close to a complete breakdown. The responsibility of a newly born baby has to be shared. Even before the couple has the time to take on the responsibility of their marriage, they are faced with the challenge of raising a child – which is often too devastating for them and their marriage.

3. Coming from a divorced family – since divorce is all too common in the United States of America, children often grow up in broken homes. When children have seen their parents fighting and being unhappy with each other, they get insecure, and that insecurity is mirrored in all their future relationships, including their marriage. They may feel a lack of commitment towards their partner, argue too much or may even be unfaithful to their partners. Having unrealistic expectations, because their parents' marriage was a failure, is also another reason why a lot of marriages just fail.

4. Commitment problems -  Los Angeles family lawyers claim that a large percentage of marriages break down because of a lack of commitment and a lack of the ability to deal with day to day responsibilities and pressures that a marriage often puts on people. When there is higher commitment in the marriage, both the spouses feel secure, and they know that they would be able to overcome all difficulties. They have a long term view of their marriage and are therefore comfortable with the challenges that life throws at them. Couples who have a stronger commitment towards each other also tend to support each other aggressively, therefore creating an environment of safety, security and comfort, which are emotions that often last longer than love alone. 

How Long Will Your Los Angeles Family Lawyer Take to Get You a Divorce?

When you are entering into a divorce suit, it is no surprise that you would want to get the proceedings over with as soon as possible. A divorce is never pleasant, even when you are the one who initiated it. However, a divorce takes some time to get finalized, and California law requires a cooling off period before finalizing. The soonest any divorce can get finalized is in 6 months, which is the cooling period required for the finalization. However, in reality a lot of factors affect the divorce proceedings and it may take a lot more time to address all the legal issues involved. The more issues there are for the court to look at and resolve, the more time your divorce is likely to take. Your Los Angeles family lawyer may not be able to do anything to speed things up.

A shorter marriage, where there are no issues of children, common property and assets, and other support issues, is likely to be resolved much faster than one which has custody and alimony issues. The more numerous and complicated the legal issues are, the more likely it is that the divorce proceedings will be lengthy and time consuming. Some of the time taking issues include visitation rights, custody, child support, spousal support, etc. You also have to take into consideration the personality of the divorcing parties. Some people are more litigious than others, and may disagree with everything. Some people may also deliberately try to delay the process because they simply cannot accept the inevitability of the divorce. In such cases, the divorce proceedings may carry on for several years before finally reaching their conclusion.

Factors that Can Delay Divorces

One key factor that can delay the divorce is the personality of the partners. However, the personality of their lawyers is also an important consideration. An attorney, who is prompt, focussed and efficient, will be able to move things smoothly. However, if on the opposition is an attorney who wants to litigate over everything, may keep delaying things. This usually happens with attorneys who are representing wealthy clients, whose pockets run deep. They charge exorbitant fees and often justify their charges by litigating unnecessarily and fighting over everything.

The court's calender is another thing to be wary of. Some courts are busier than others, and the court hearings may be postponed or delayed due to unavailability of the court rooms. This could also delay the proceedings for at least some months. Some of the other issues to consider include the level of discord between the divorcing parties. Even the simplest of cases may take a long time to be resolved, if the parties are unable to reach any agreements. Such people may fight over the smallest of things, including the family pets. Both parties have to fully acknowledge everything, and be honest in the courtrooms. If the level of honesty is not complete – for instance, someone does not disclose the exact extent of assets they own, this could lead to a disaster for both of them. This can cause unnecessary delays. 

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