Desire a Great Divorce? Here's How

The term 'great divorce' may seem like an oxymoron, but it really is not. While most people believe that divorce is inevitably ugly, others view this as an opportunity to sort out differences and part ways gracefully. Splitting up may often be a painful experience, leaving behind a feeling of genuine loss. However, it is also a new beginning to your life and may lead to some wonderful opportunities as well. Perhaps, you were not meant to be married anymore, or maybe you and your partner were just not right for each other. This does not mean that you cannot find happiness anymore. Here are some ways in which you can come out of your divorce relatively unscathed.

Avoid being friends too soon – being friends with an ex is a tall order. It seldom ever works, unless you genuinely do not hold any grudges against each other. It is important to give each other a safe distance and set new rules and boundaries to move into this new territory with as less baggage as possible. Your relationship will never be the same, and therefore, it is best to give it some time and then see if a new kind of partnership may flourish between you two.

Let your lawyers prepare for the worst – if you have found a great divorce lawyer in Los Angeles, there is no need for you to prepare for the worst. Let them do it for you. If you do not have any huge issues between the two of you, there is no reason why you and your ex cannot work things out amicably. A mediator can help you with that. Even your Los Angeles divorce lawyer can help you with that to a large extent.

Agree to disagree – no matter how carefully you plan this, or how meticulously you approach your divorce, things may get messy. Even after your divorce, with your parenting plans and your financial decisions, failures are inevitable. Life after a divorce can be like a minefield, but you can tread carefully and minimize damage by avoiding blame games. If you are planning to make some of the vital decisions together – especially regarding children, you have to learn to work together and approach all issues gracefully. When you do disagree, make sure you do it in a way that is easy on each other and your children too.

Don't repeat old patterns – apart from the fact that your marriage is now over, nothing much has changed. You are still you, and your partner is, well, still your ex. There will be friction and there will be problems. You are no longer responsible for your partner's life, and it should not matter to you if they are unhappy, angry, upset, insecure or uncomfortable. If they have a problem, let them sort it out and do not get involved. Resisting the old patterns would certainly give you headway and room to grow individually. Just know that neither of you are responsible for the other's life and their mistakes or their consequences anymore. 

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